this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
