U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
