can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
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I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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