I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize