Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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