I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
