Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I just found puke in my bra..
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
