Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
