When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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