Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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