Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.