Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.