I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
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What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
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Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth