just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.