her vagine was all disorganized.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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