i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
