theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
