around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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