yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Randomize
