Im at strip club and am horny
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
