I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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