you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
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