New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
