Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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