He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize