If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
