he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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