My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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