i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Randomize
