my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
