Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
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I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
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HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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