either way he was missing a nipple.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
