i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
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You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
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omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
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