omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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