Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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