my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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