I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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