Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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