she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
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All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I stole a fireplace last night.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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