i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
