Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
