Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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