Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
