And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
