I cockslap morals
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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