shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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