I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
he shaved USA in his pubs
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
