Welp...herpes.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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