So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
