i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
