It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
only you would photoshop your dick
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
