Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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