Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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