Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
