well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
