i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
