ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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