you win again, gameday.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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