Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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