Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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