Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Houston, we have a blender
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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