she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
