Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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